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This The Reason Why You Will Never Quit Your Job



72% of us dream about living life on our own terms, escaping the day job, breaking down the cubicle walls and adventuring into business for ourselves. Since you’re reading this blog, I’m going out on a limb here and guessing that you are part of this overwhelming majority. I was too.

In late 2004, I was approaching 9 years at my job. I worked in a management position for the largest privately held corporation in Philadelphia. I was being compensated well with a 6-figure salary and benefits package.

I managed to make a 1 hour commute through traffic into the city in the morning.
I spent an average of 10 hours in the cube daily.
And then another 1 hour commute through traffic back out of the city in the evening.

50% of my life during the week was dedicated to growing someone else’s business.
33% of my life during the week was sleep; replenishing my energy to grow someone else’s business.

That left me with 17% of my life to split between my wife, my two young children, and myself.
I sold 83% of me so I could try and “live on my own terms” 17% of the time.

I was comfortable, but that didn’t stop me from dreaming about what it would look like to live life on my own terms 100%.

You know the dream. You reject the identity of being a cog in someone else’s wheel. There is something inside of you drawing you into a greater purpose… be still; listen.

The Search for Fulfillment

I enjoyed my work, my coworkers, my compensation and quite honestly it wasn’t a bad company to work for at all. I was young, and in a position to be groomed for higher responsibilities and next stages of leadership. My accomplishments and achievements for this company were something to be truly proud of. I was the youngest person in company history to ever be recognized by the President personally for an award. When times got tough for the company, and others were being laid off around me, my job remained. I was really very fortunate to be in the position that I was.

Yet, there was something very wrong. Something inside of me. There was an emptiness and a longing to enter into something bigger. I was completely unfulfilled. I felt underutilized, limited, and held back by corporate politics and ceilings of positional career growth. I had ambitions of offering my talents and strengths to the world outside of the limitations that I felt at the company.

Fulfillment to me didn’t look like a paycheck, or a benefits package, or a stable job, or a career path.

Fulfillment to me, was the pursuit of the dream. I didn’t really have a choice. I was compelled to respond to that spark inside that was calling me into something greater.

The Overwhelming Chasm

As I took inventory of my situation, this is what I saw:

  • Young family, dependent on me as “bread-winner”
  • Big house in the suburbs = big mortgage
  • Debt that we accumulated early on but were chipping away at
  • All savings invested in retirement plan
  • Limited extra time in the day to invest in building my dream
  • Early signs of an economy moving downward

The visual that I was left with was this huge gap between my dream, and my current situation. Imagine standing on the edge of one side of the Grand Canyon. If you’ve ever been there, you know the feeling… your heart skips a few beats and you find yourself breathless as you approach the edge. A massive chasm, very wide and very deep, standing between you and the other side.

The reason most of you will never quit your day job, statistically speaking, is because this chasm will always be insurmountable in your mind. Most of you will systematically attempt to eliminate each item on the list. Everyone’s list of challenges standing in the way is different, and the list is ever-changing with the ebbs and flows of life. In many cases, new items are added faster then you can remove them. It’s only natural for you to work toward eliminating all obstacles; narrowing the chasm so that in the end you can simply step across, without any risk at all.

After 6 months of deliberation, standing on the edge, heavily weighing my own chasm of obstacles, I came to a profound realization. If I’m ever going to go after the dream, and get to the other side, I must jump.

So I jumped.

A Big Shock: After Taking the Leap

We had a little bit of a parachute… some savings and some clients that would give us a bit of time before crashing to the ground.

But it wasn’t enough.

2 years after taking the leap, my family and I watched our house get foreclosed on, our cars get towed away, and our debts climb to unbearable heights. Our marriage was on the rocks… we were both suffering through heavy bouts of depression. We had crashed into the bottom of the canyon floor, and found ourselves completely broken.

If my story ended here, with my family and I in pieces on the ground after a long fall, I honestly do not believe I would be here to write this today. It is critical for you to understand how far we fell and how messed up things got as a result of our choice to jump. Without that perspective and understanding, you wouldn’t be able to fully appreciate what happened next.

You see, the shock wasn’t that we found ourselves crashing, and later picking up the pieces on the bottom floor.

The shock came as we started to piece our lives and ourselves back together… we stumbled upon a remarkable discovery. As we began to help each other up, and stand again, there was something very different about us. We were changed. We had wings. We could fly.

So we flew.

We experienced a wholeness as a family, and wholeness as individuals that we’ve never experienced before. The story that developed and grew out of our brokenness and our newfound ability to fly became a platform, and a place where we could help others. You see, that original dream that we so desperately wanted to reach was replaced with something greater. As we spread our wings and flew up above the canyon, we were able to see life from a new perspective, and were able to recognize that the original dream was too small. Inside of us, existed a new strength and power, an incredible flame, that rose out of our story. The flame has compelled us to inspire, and help people in the various stages of their own process of following their dreams.

It all starts with the spark.

Your Small Spark Can Change the World

My hope is that my story will not scare you from taking the jump into the chasm in your own life, but that it will inspire you into a realization that you have wings to fly. Everyone has their own journey, and yours will look different then mine. Doors will open and they will close. Some will need to be broken more than others, and some will learn how to fly before they reach the bottom.

The small spark inside of you is trying to get your attention. May you respond and allow it to grow into a flame that will compel you to step into your purpose and change the world around you.


About the Author

This article was written by Jason from TRIBE.LY. Jason writes at TRIBE.LY, a blog about building tribes that can make positive change in the world.  He has a passion for helping people start TRIBES with ONE leader, ONE idea, and ONE community.  He believes that everyone has a spark within themselves that has the power to change lives and send positive ripples into the world. Jason had written this article for Paid to Exist, a web platform that contains resources on how you can achieve the financial and career independence through meaningful work. See more of Paid to Exist.


Is International Women’s Day just another Tokenism?



Yearly on 8th March around the world, we celebrate a day for women. This year that was 2 weeks ago, before this article was published.

A Question for You:

Did we change for the better after that day? or

Did we just all go back just to Business as Usual?

And if so, why?

As a psychologist and conscious leadership coach, I work to change mindsets to do more good in the world. We all know bad habits are hard to change. Ignoring Women talent and needs is a bad habit. Calling attention to it once in a while is simply not just not enough, it also assuages leadership guilt. The guilt alone does not lead to sustainable efforts to transformation.

We all know one International Women’s Day yearly is simply not enough.

One women’s group in your company is not enough.

One women’s breakfast in the technology conference is not enough.

One Women’s March is not enough.

But it is the start.

It’s the start. We need to join forces.

Join forces with leaders who read #MeToo and ask themselves what we must do today to reduce and end such harassment. Tech Leaders who are aware of the power of money and resources lying in the hands of a few heightens potential bullying and unwanted sexual advances. Leaders who actively act to counter or stop abuses and want to create new workplace cultures. Leaders who promote women on merit, but who also look to sponsor, mentor, and support more women to the senior leadership tracks.

We need a critical mass to tip Gender Parity to become the new norm. We need to dialogue and language new ways of being and leading in the world. We need daily, weekly, monthly habits to make gender parity the daily actionable. What is your daily actionable to not just gender parity, but inclusion and diversity in all aspects of our work and life? Let’s build the momentum by increasing connections across companies, countries, and communities. This article brings insight to what we can do next and communities you can support.

On March 8th, at 1880 , a private club where one of the focuses in women’s leadership, the Salon discussion was on “Undressing Feminism”. Participants spoke frankly about unwanted sexual advances and what both men and women can do to stop work and national or religious cultures where such actions are deemed normal. One husband joked about how he told his wife he was attending the event and she told him to shut up and listen carefully. We were all listening carefully and we spoke as a group with a transparency that is rarely found in conservative Asian culture and even in rather Westernized Singapore.

Who we heard from:

Matthew Spacie at Magic Bus

He spoke of his work in the non-profit and called out the terrifying statistics that should not be hidden or ignored.

This is an average Indian girl’s gender based obstacles throughout her lifetime

There are about 600 million women in India. They have the highest rate of infanticide of girls. Women are 56 times more likely to die before the age of 5 years as compared to boys.  If a girl does get to go to school; up to 53 percent drop out and only 1 percent graduate. 40 % of the women are married off as children.  If she gets to have a job, 40% are in unregulated work which means they can be bullied, paid less, and anything else without any external regulatory bodies to assist.

Aware’s Executive Director, Corinna Lim:

If the vision is – a society where there is true gender equality – where women and men are valued as individuals free to make informed and responsible choices about their lives. Then we look towards Aware, Singapore  as a resource – for their mission is to remove all gender-based barriers so as to allow individuals in Singapore to develop their potential to the fullest and realise their personal visions and hopes.

In fact, after the #MeToo movement came out, there were 80% more calls to sexual harassment center in Singapore. And Corrina shared how one in ten women in Singapore has been physically abused by a man. Do know that AWARE’s Sexual Assault Care Centre, the only centre that supports victims of sexual assault and harassment  can be reached at  6779 0282.

Survivor of War, Human Trafficking, and Sexual Assault, Lurata Lyon:

Forgiveness is what is needed to heal and also to take the lessons and give ourselves strength. She shared how she was molested in Singapore by a British expat and she immediately grabbed his phone to keep him there while she called the police. Her two children were with her and thankfully a local pregnant woman came and stood by her as the man tried to force her hand to let go of his phone. She reminded the audience that this could not have been the first time this man acted in this unacceptable manner, yet how many others had let his behavior slip through our silence.

Asian Feminist Role Model, Activist, and Burlesque Artist, Sukki Singapora:

“Someone has got to be brave. If it is not you, it’ll have to be someone else. So make it you.”

Sukki braved her family’s strict culture and Singapore’s public indecency laws to fully express herself in her choice of art and profession, burlesque. She left us wondering why should sensuality be repressed? What is the world so afraid of? Her choice of expression was initially considered a crime in the public decency act of Singapore. Now she is a champion and face of freedom of expression for women in socially restrictive countries.

These conversations can evoke small changes in public consensus which will bring about swift changes in the societal consensus, that’s why we have political debates during the elections.  We are part of that dialogue, debate, and actionable steps and accountability. It’s our call to not let International Women’s Day fall on deaf ears. Let’s not just have one token discussion on one day set aside, but make such discussions a daily act.

Thanking Matthew, Corinna, Lurata, Sukki, and Marc Nicholson panel moderator and co-founder, 1880 for allowing their stories to inspire and confront us all again with the unknowing discrimination and bullying we may be supporting under our own roofs.

Like this piece?

See my article on International Women’s Day

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Women on Top in Tech – Vidya Vellala, Founder and CEO of Faasthelp



(Women on Top in Tech is a series about Women Founders, CEOs, and Leaders in technology. It aims to amplify and bring to the fore diversity in leadership in technology.)

Vidya Vellala is the Founder and CEO of Faasthelp, a 24/7 (round the clock) customer support on any business application through Artificial intelligence powered products. It analyzes what the customer is asking using natural language processing, machine learning and processes that to give the accurate responses to the customers instantly. Vidya is an Entrepreneur with a passion for innovation and latest technologies, having 17 years of Technology Experience. She won the India’s Best Startup CTO by Dell EMC.

What makes you do what you do?
I believe technology can solve any problem. Innovations in technology can improve the quality of life and the quality of work people does.
I am grown with a mindset which says self-sympathy is the enemy of self and hard work consistently without expecting a result will open bigger pathways. What I am doing is the combination of all.
Being an entrepreneur is an eternal learning which I love and I enjoy playing with technology and challenges that is the reason why I am doing what I am doing today.

How did you rise in the industry you are in?
Updating myself with the latest technologies is a must. Having said that, that alone is not sufficient. Always thinking positively, fighting against the fears, perseverance, and working hard helps.
I am lucky to have a big support from my family. My sisters who are also into technology field, make my life more beautiful and meaningful, to share not only the personal but also technical matters with them.

Why did you take on this role/start this startup especially since this is perhaps a stretch or challenge for you (or viewed as one since you are not the usual leadership demographics)?
With the bigger goal of supporting the future generations, this is the beginning. It had to start somewhere. In the very long journey this is the first step that I took.
My current startup is Faasthelp. We build artificial intelligence products.

Do you have a mentor that you look up to in your industries or did you look for one or how did that work?How did you make a match if you did, and how did you end up being mentored by him?
There have been many mentors at all stages of my startup. A startup eco system has brought me too many friends and mentors who have been very helpful at every stage of my startup and I am thankful to all of them.
My primary mentors in my life are my parents. The spirit of entrepreneurship was ignited when I was a kid and my mother was managing her small industry. The strong value system, sense of service, and responsibility towards the society is instilled in me by my dad. The strong urge to do something by myself was driven by my parents. They are the role models and driving factors.

Now as a leader how do you spot, develop, keep, grow and support your talent?
I take personal interest in grooming and nurturing talent. I have established processes that identify the potential talent and to groom. I play to the best of their strengths and encourage them to take risks. My business needs also drive me to develop new skills and grow them. I value emotional intelligence and so is the strength of my team.

Do you consciously or subconsciously support diversity and why?
I consciously and subconsciously support diversity, this again I can say got from my parents, my dad always wanted all women to be empowered and my mother had more women in her work force.
I have mentored women entrepreneurs, especially in their technical initiatives as I come with a vast technical expertise. I have extended my entrepreneurial connections to other women entrepreneurs. Our organization has more women representation.

What is your take on what it takes to be a great leader in your industry and as a general rule of thumb?
To be a great leader, you have to be a good leader, for that you must be a good human being, driven by high values, honesty, and ethics with great empathy for the people around.
Motivating the team, being a good listener with persistent hard work is a general thumb rule. Now there might be several ways to implement these and depending on the industry the implementation might differ but the ground principles remain same.
Entrepreneurship is continuous learning and I encourage others to do the same. Aim high and work towards the set goals is a way to go. I believe mindset to do service is also a way to become a good leader.

Advice for others?
Always be positive and create a positive impact on everyone. Have your values defined and do not compromise on them at any cost. Each small step taken towards the big thing is important, value them and go ahead, you will succeed surely. Success is something which we define our self and it can be achieved from any field and anywhere, on the way keep helping others.
The present focus is to develop the startup which I have taken up and my next idea is to continue to innovate and create technology products which will improvise human life.

If you’d like to get in touch with Vidya Vellala, please feel free to reach out to her on LinkedIn:

To learn more about Faasthelp, please click here.

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